Saturday 09 January
I woke this morning thinking of Mum. Right now, since we heard that she has tested positive for Covid19, each day I have new thoughts which will repeat themselves as the days pass. The infection, hospitalisation and mortality figures released each day by the government have a louder resonance for me right now.
Today, I feel for the carer (or carers) who tested positive too. How must they have felt thinking they may have been responsible for bringing the virus into the locked down home? How must the carers and community nurses have felt whilst trying to administer such an invasive test to each and every resident? I know my mum would have been so distressed with a swab up the nose and down the throat. She would have shouted and screamed and possibly become quite physically aggressive towards them. I would not have been able to do that repeatedly, I would have felt I was being cruel. Did they have to restrain her in any way?
Thoughts lead to other thoughts that I know are not helpful when trying to rationalise the situation. Right now, I need to be calm and readied for whatever news comes and hope for the best.
The sun was so bright, so bright. The air was cold and it was dry. As we left the ice was thawing on the branches of the trees with ice falling to the ground as chunks, chips and flakes. Some dropping like gravel, some drifting down like snow. It was unusual, the sky was clear and it was snowing in the back garden.
Such a beautiful day for a walk. Crisp and cold, and it was great to pull the welly boots on after such a full week. Obviously weekends are precious, particularly at the moment, releasing the pressure of the past five days. But it’s also time to appreciate two days of seeing daylight. I walked along today, into the sunshine with my eyelids closed, and that pink glow warmed me inside. Just knowing that things can come together like they did to day, to give such a pleasent distraction really lifts my spirits.
Everything is so dormant though. There is a noticeable scarcity of red berries on hawthorn. I can only imaging that the birds have eaten them. Fieldfare, Redwing, Blackbird and Thrush are all partial to them, as well as some smaller birds such as finches. Many sheep had been moved off the more remote fields (I guess for the colder weeks) and geese have taken up residence in their place. Especially as there are still a number of fields still flooded in parts.
The seagull didn’t join us until the end of our walk today. It also swooped across the road in front of us as we drove home. It has been a week since I last saw it, but it remembered us.
The Bald Birder 