Wednesday 17 March
Dad went to see Mum yesterday at the care home. He rang me in the evening and I pictured him with a glass of red wine in his hand as he spoke to me. He explained how Mum’s new room was really nice, how he preferred it to the other one, the carpet the decor and the en suite. The view was nicer too. It’s very touching how Dad talks as/for Mum – he knows what she would say and almost channels her thoughts and observations.
I asked how long he spent with her? Over an hour all told. But he confessed, for the first time to me, that there wasn’t much of a conversation but they “were able to communicate”. I have always been crap at recalling how long they have been together, but I do know it’s a very, very long time. I am sure over the years they have talked about the interesting and the mundane over and over, and then talked about it all again. And I am sure conversation became less in time too? But what Dad would give to have Mum back for an hour, as she was before the dementia, to talk about the interesting and the mundane again. If I could wish for anything right now, it would be that they both have just that one more hour as they used to be.
I love it when someone shares something with me that has inspired or influenced them. I know that it matters to them, and because I count them as a good friend, I consequently have deep respect for them and their opinions. This is certainly the case of my good friend, an Essex man by birth and living in Scotland now. I am fortunate that our paths crossed as many men of our age meet – through our wives and our children. Our kids are the same age, and our wives met when our first-borns were just babies. And I am very happy that we are still good friends, despite the geographical distance between us all. Accidentally connected acquaintances; there’s a cheery lightness of such special friendships.
It was my good friend who introduced me to JA Baker and his beautifully layered, book-come-memoir ‘The Peregrine’. It was perfect timing as it fuelled my emerging interest in the landscape, countryside and history of Essex and East Anglia. As well as a passion for this most beautiful and enigmatic of birds. And just a few days ago he sent me a link to ‘In Pursuit of Spring’ by Edward Thomas. Not only the perfect time of year to be reading this as we approach the Easter break. But also the perfect time for me and ‘where’ I am at right now. Thanks, Mate.
We are a year on from where we were when I started this blog, and we are back at the start of Spring. And even after the first few pages of this book, I am filling with optimism about what is ahead. Leaving the stuff and nonsense of winter behind, and emerging, as spring is and will be over the coming weeks with a realisation of what is important in life. Here’s to friends and sunny times ahead.
The Bald Birder 